Wolfsmelody:
Oh. well I hope things get better for you.
Friday, September 17th 2004
7:50 PM
I feel like bitching!
Mood:Misplaced
Music:Thursday-Understanding In A Car Crash
Oh...life is a bitch and all that good shit. But seriouslly. Where is everyone that use to make things good. God dammit. sure theres alex, but a bf can only do so much. And my sister is in silence of the depressives land. I mean. She's so friggin consumed with her self. she thinks she's the only one with problems. In her journal she write about my high anxiety like i'm a psycho. First of all: Let this be known...i hate it when people assume it's so easy to just do. Like it's okay you can drive in that car or drink this much or walk here alone and it will be okay. it's not okay to me. i feel like i'm going to have a panic attack. You know i hate big events. Especially car accidents. Who fuckin doesn't but i'm sayin, so much shit goes along with such a huge milestone. When cassie and i got into the car accident in mattituck we use to joke. we use to talk about the accident was the downfall of it all. And in so many ways car accidents kill people even if they cause no fatalities. Nick, Westchester, Chris O., B-ryan, and Alex were all in the car and we all survived the accident. But no one really lived. I feel like i'm part of some fucked up broken mirror and i have only one shard to myself. And everyone else is scattered far apart and around me. I'm so lonely. Where did every body go. If this is growing up...life after is lonley. And if this is life after...then what is death. I'm so confused and contridicted. But i am what i am and i can only say to those who don't know...Fuck this shit!
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